Does God exist? The short answer is no. The long answer is noooooooooooooo, but if you’re willing to alter your definition of God enough, you can make it work!
Cherry-pick your favorite bits from your religious manual, discard the uncomfortable or inconvenient parts, and then patch the holes with bits of animated Christmas specials. Ta da! If there’s a troubling scientific fact that arises, well, that can be explained away probably.

Fundamentalists may be crazy, but at least they’re not moving targets. You know precisely what kind of lunacy they’re about.

Hey! Buy these things:

• Bunnies Bafflers: Only a few left! Order yours today
• New tees: Corn God Niblets Sports Tee and Fleg Dentata Concert Tee
• SFAM Holiday Cards for folks of all traditions
• Republicans for Voldemort stickers are back in stock!